Self-Improvement

I used to hate yearly planning. And I think it comes down to my relationship with goal setting. I’m not much of a goal setter. A year is a long time and I don’t like to be locked into heavy goals throughout the year.

Most of us go through our lives literally just running on a hamster wheel.We wake up, we do the same things, we drive the same way to work, or eat the same meals, and we put things back in the same place.

Consistency. I bet it's on your list of 'want more of it' in 2023. After all, it's the holy grail of productivity & self-improvement. And yet most of us feel like we're failing at it most of the time. But what if locking yourself into a rigid view of consistency is actually hindering you rather than helping you?

Strength training has taught me more about consistency than any other thing I've done in life (including growing as a creator). The other day my trainer programmed inverted rows (under a low bar and pulling/rowing up). Every time I've attempted them before I have had to do them in batches. So when she said 15 reps I yelled an expletive in my head.

When starting something new you should probably find a way to do it daily. For years I thought the way to become a creator was to write two blogs a week (or 2 podcasts or two vlogs). After all, that seemed like a reasonable amount of writing each week.

I almost signed up for an 8 week summer book writing bootcamp this morning on Instagram. I don't need another Bootcamp or mastermind or course to actually write my book. I have an outline, I have half the content for it already! But I thought maybe this is what I need to get this thing finished.

Reminder: You are under no obligation to play by anyone else's rules. Most of us don't remember a time before the noise of the internet (& Twitter) meant every time you scroll you see another influencer or person with a social media account telling you how you should be doing everything in your life.

I am the queen of unused trackers. A few days ago I threw out a tweet declaring tracking bankruptcy. It came as I looked at my Daily Page and realised that the tracker I set up to track my mood daily that I thought would be interesting, I had used a total of 2 times out of 50.

I have a decent library of books that sits in and around my desk. I designed it that way. Literally, my desk is built into my bookshelf. Every book holds a significant moment or memory or reason for being on that shelf.

Consistency is hard. But when you master it, it's addictive as hell. 2 months ago I started training again with a personal trainer after taking a break for about 6 months. Starting again was HARD. Especially because I know what strong feels like. But what seemed hard on that first day is now starting to feel easier (if you can call lifting weight easy!).

I've been a little MIA this week. You might have noticed, maybe not? On Monday I landed myself in the hospital after having chest pains & thinking I was having a heart attack. Don't worry, I was cleared of any heart problems.

This is going to be an uncomfortable essay about consistency. I am going to put a caveat at the beginning to say I am NOT the queen of consistency. Most of the time I write about things I'm currently experiencing and thinking about. So take this as much as an essay I'm writing for myself as for anyone else.

Good intentions don’t work. Mechanisms do... Jeff Bezos. I was sitting in a workshop two weeks ago where I challenged my clients to a challenge to show up on social media for 100 days. It was a Friday, the challenge was set to start Monday. Some decided to start straight away. Admirable, but foolish. Their motivation died over the weekend and they had to start at 0 by Monday.

Why are habits so hard to stick to? I think because on a daily level they seem to make such an insignificant difference. It's often hard to see the change that those habits are making when we are caught up in the daily minutia. So how do we stay motivated to keep doing habits without seeing results every day?

I'm learning that going to my edge is where I experience the most aliveness in life. The problem is that too often I revert back to my comfort zone all cozy-like and forget that the edge is where aliveness is. The past few weeks Sydney has been in full lockdown. It's also the middle of winter. So, I decided to go into hibernation in my cozy little apartment. Eat, sleep, drink (& write essays of course).

Would you rather 10x growth or consistent daily growth? The Internet is a wild place where one day you are minding your own business and the next you are exploding because someone retweeted you or shared your product or wrote something about your company. But we have to remind ourselves that those moments are the exception and not the rule.

I spent some time chatting to my good friend from Ship30 Ely about note taking, my Notion system and being a better human.

Who are you becoming? A few days ago I wrote an essay about how I don't 'do goals' instead I live in the daily and I let each day be a fresh start to becoming the person I want to be. It was a little throw-away line at the end of an essay. Until Joe Lurie asked me the ultimate question.

Is it about time you started showing up for your future self? I find it really easy to show up for other people. If somebody needs me I'll drop everything to help. Often at the expense of myself. But what if I showed up for my future self? That girl who's me tomorrow or this afternoon? What if I started to ask myself how I could make her life easier, to make her life flow more smoothly, to help her to reach her goals?

What if we're thinking of habits all wrong? A couple of days ago Jackson Steger wrote an essay that I really can't stop thinking about. About values based habits and goals. Rather than building habits based on external outcomes we built them on our internal values instead?

Being consistent in one thing leads to consistency in all things. Seeing over 60 atomic essays on my calendar is cool and all. But it's meant something more powerful than just words on a page. It's proved to me that I AM a consistent person. And every day I write, I prove it to myself again. You see consistency isn't just about willpower. It's the belief that you can do it.

I'm an Introvert. Yeah yeah. I can tell you're shocked. Most people are when I tell them. Because people assume that I'm an extrovert because they see me 'out there' online or chatting comfortably at an event, or hosting Twitter spaces or doing a thousand other things. Basically they don't see me acting 'shy' so think I must be an extrovert.

If there is one thing that has derailed me on many a 30-day experiment, it's submitting to the voice in my head. You know THAT voice. You've probably experienced it too. You're trying to build a habit. You start off so well, you might even get a week in, and when you're not seeing the results you thought you would... BAM doubt starts to creep in.

Every experiment starts with a hypothesis. It's one of the only things I learned from year 7 science. No one is performing experiments just for the fun of it. OK, we may or may not have had some fun with the bunsen burners... but I digress.

I don't break bad habits. I focus on building good habits. If you do a search on Quora for habits, you'll come across many questions about how to break bad habits. It seems that we're more obsessed with breaking bad habits than we are about building good ones.