The Dark Side Of Being A Creator

The Dark Side Of Being A Creator

I love creating order from chaos. In fact it's my main superpower.

Give me a pile of unlinked things and I'll find the pattern and be able to give them order AND make them look stunning at the same time. But if you know me, that's no surprise.

But just like any superhero, my power is also my kryptonite.

So, when I have order in my life, I get bored. And when I get bored I tend to break things that are not broken just so I can build new things. Over and over and over again.

Some people build systems because they can't stand chaos and they need to create order. I used to think that was me too. But now I realise I build systems because I love the thrill of the build.

But when the build is over and the system is running smooth AF. I'm bored AF.

That's what causes me to:

  • Look at how others have solved the same problem and add 'tweaks'
  • Dive into shiny new apps to see if I can make them work the same way
  • Try to replicate perfectly good apps just for the thrill of it
  • Look for ever new systems to bring to order

I'm like a builder who lives in an unrenovated house. Constantly tinkering, always renovating. Never quite finished.

And that's not inherently bad. What I'm worried about is that I'm not OK with being bored. I could be living a beautifully ordered life by now. Except for the restlessness. But it's just that restlessness that pushes me to create.

And so you see, my superpower is also my kryptonite.

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